A Truly Wonderful Day!

I had a truly wonderful day today, the birthday of the Catholic Church (Pentecost).

I listened to the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy and I cried my heart out for past sins. Then I prayed the rosary along with the CD.

I listened/watched two TV healing masses - one at 6 am (Channel 2) and the other at 9 am (Studio 23). The homilies were both beautiful. One about the gifts of the Holy Spirit which ought to be shared. The other on what are the signs that the Holy Spirit is in a person. There were several and I'm glad to note that I have practically all of them! Praise God!

I finished two reports in record time. I was talking to Client and she said she will ask me to train her people and I of course will get paid for it. Yehey!

Then some friends came over at night and we had an instant concert. They sang so beautifully! Even my mom was so happy, she ordered pizza and Coke for us. Andy agreed to sing my song "Mahirap Maging Mahirap" on YouTube. Dream come true!

Another friend came along and we watched her short film, I (Heart) Roger. Nice!

It's been a great day! Thank You so much, Lord!

Conspiracy of Grace

This has been a nice day.

Finished two reports with the help of my assistant.

My sister and niece visited me. My sister "cleaned" my hair and removed white hair. We talked about a lot of stuff.

I learned a new term today "conspiracy of grace". From what I gathered, it may be defined as when God conspires with the universe to give you the exact blessing that you need when you need it - all is asked is that you be gracious enough to receive the blessing and recognize it for what it is... a gift of God. If this were so, then my life is one loooong story and example of conspiracy of grace. Every minute, every second...God has showered me with blessings - obvious and "disguised". And it is my realization that the greatest blessings are the disguised ones because they are like surprise gifts hidden inside an ugly package.

When people learned that I have third stage cancer of the bone marrow, I various reactions but the two most common ones were: "You can do it! You have hurdled other trials before!" and "Poor Nimia! Hasn't she suffered enough in life? Hasn't she gone through enough adversity already?"

Yes, indeed, storms are not alien to me. A failed marriage and failed romantic relationships, a bi-polar mood disorder condition that has led to no less than 15 hospitalizations and confinements in half-way homes, a long bout of bedriddenness which everybody thought was "sciatica" (but which may be a misdiagnosis), other illnesses like diabetes, and now, the big C.

I can do it! Yes and no. My loved ones and friends are right. If I was able to survive all the other storms in my life and used these storms to inspire and bless others, they can rest assured that I shall use this new trial to likewise inspire and bless others. Let my life be a living witness to others on how to face extreme problems.

But no, I cannot do it alone. That is why, I practically broadcasted it to the world - in person, by phone, by text, by email, through Facebook, etc. that I have this dreaded disease. Why? Because I knew the power of prayer and boy, do I need prayers to get me through this one. For it will not go away quickly. I have to face reality. So, friends and loved ones, do keep praying for me.

And of course, as always, I need God. I've always needed God during my times of sorrow and pain and suffering. But I am ashamed to say that despite God's magnanimity towards me, I have sinned against Him so grievously in the past. How ungrateful of me! And so whenever I commit sin, I cannot wait to make things right between us and to avail of the Sacrament of Reconciliation as soon as possible. My last confession was with a bishop, no less. I resolve to commit no more mortal sins and avoid all venial sins from now on.

Conspiracy of grace. With all these, God is conspiring with the universe to mold me into the child He envisioned me to be even before I was born. He is conspiring to make me a saint such as He is conspiring to make you and everybody else a saint. Because a saint is no one but a person who loves God so dearly that he/she must love other people, too. I need not be a canonized saint, but a saint with such a definition I resolve to be.

Thank You, Lord, for Your grace.

Dreams Becoming True

I cannot believe it! Before my eyes, my dreams are becoming true almost simultaneously!

...My book, "Mission:Possible!" is fast taking shape and nearing completion. I just met with two former students who are willing to interview mission-aries (people who live and breathe their mission) for me. There are at least four other people willing to do the same for me. Another friend offered to do the book design for free. I emailed my write-up of Bo Sanchez early in the morning and he also emailed the revisions early in the morning (he works that early!).

...My three previous books may be reprinted with some revisions, and maybe sold as a gift pack (three in one package!).

...My anti-abortion song, "Mother Let Me Live" will be produced and sang by Fatima, the prodigy of Father Orbos. I talked to her producer and talent manager who is willing to include the song in Fatima's next CD.

...My funny song, "Mahirap Maging Mahirap" will be placed in YouTube because I am forcing my friends to help me do so he he.

...My screenplay, "Ang Mundo ni Minda" will also see completion before the year ends.

...There will be "Know Your Mission" workshops and "Count Your Blessings" workshops in conjunction with my books. (or so I predict)

...and many more.

I guess I will never stop dreaming. Dreaming of things that I know is in keeping with my mission here on earth. That's why I do not dread death. It's a long way off. I can't afford to die with so many projects.

Lord, as much as I want to be with You in heaven, don't take me just yet. There is much I want to do for You and for my fellowmen, my loved ones, friends, even strangers. There are so many people I want to love and serve. I want to make even more people laugh, and smile, and feel inspired. So please, O Father, let me live a long life.

Deferring Depression

I ought to be depressed by now already. After all, I'm bi-polar am I not? To discover one has stage 3 cancer is reason enough for me to feel low. But surprisingly, by the grace of God, I don't. Many people are remarking that I am showing such good disposition and positive attitude that I am an inspiration to them.

That still does not change the fact that I am in frequent pain.

Grace. All is grace.

And I thank God for using me as an instrument of peace and love, a model of faithfulness and trust, and an example of triumph over adversity. As long as there is purpose out of all these trials I am facing, then I am willing to bear it all.

I consider myself most fortunate that the Lord showers me with His love directly and indirectly through many, many people...even people I hardly know or remember.

I praise and thank You, Lord, for being with me during these dark times. And one day, one glorious day, I shall see the light again. Meanwhile, You are the lamp upon my feet, You are Wisdom itself, and You are Love unconditional. Glory, glory to You O King!

An Interesting Day

I'm running out of adjectives to describe my days because they are all so nice despite ...

I was very early at the hospital today kasi fasting was necessary for my blood tests. I got to violate my diet and ate tapsilog at the canteen.

It's a good thing my doctor allowed me to go home instead of making me see her in the afternoon.

I spent again a lot of time in front of the computer.

I talked to friends over the phone.

My assistant came over and helped me with a report.

Two friends visited. One brought pancit and drinks.

The other asked help in writing a letter to some people who wronged her.

I'm excited about my song, "Mahirap Maging Mahirap" because my friends like it. It's so funny.
I hope it gets to YouTube. Then I'll post it here and in Facebook. Who knows? It might even get recorded.

Meanwhile, I hope to get enough sleep tonight. My left leg is aching like anything. And my bed sore in my right buttock!

Oh well, I must keep my mind busy elsewhere.

Visit To, Visited By

Today, I visited my orthopedic surgeon. He reiterated what his assistant said last week - no fractures, so no need for bone surgery. Yehey! He prescribed an antibiotic for my bed sore. Although I can still barely walk and have to move about in a wheelchair, I noticed that the pain is no longer that intense and frequent. And I can move my left leg a little more each day. Little improvements, little joys, little reliefs.

I had two pairs of visitors today. The first pair were both males - one an HR manager, the other a writer/editor/director/singer. He sang "The Prayer" for me. They brought lots of fruits. Delicious! We talked about facebook and old friends. I also showed them the lyrics of "Mahirap Maging Mahirap" which I talked about in an old post. I want to put the song in YouTube. I also asked their help regarding my book "Mission:Possible".

The second pair of visitors were females - marketing research client and friends. They brought books for my mother to read. And a salad for me which I ate right away because I'm supposed to go fasting for tomorrow's blood tests. They brought home the notebook that my ex-husband is selling. I asked them for prayer requests like most of my other guests so I can pray for them, too. We talked about marketing research, past operations, current woes, etc.

I didn't do much work today but my deadline is still a far way off. Next week so I spent most of the day checking my email, facebook, visited Preacher in Blue Jeans.

I talked to some friends over the phone, too. Other people have their own personal crises, you know. So I shall pray for them as well.

Life is great! And as one of the last lines of "Slumdog Millionaire" says - "God is great!"

A Quiet Day at Home

After all that excitement, I'm glad to have spent a quiet day at home today.

I just finished a simple taste test report and a three-paged topline report.

A friend came over and we talked for a while.

I went through my emails.

I chatted with friends in yahoo and skype.

I talked to my two publishers.

I sent out group emails and group messages via cellphone.

Nice, nice day it was.