Wonder

I wonder if I should write on my blog for the meantime. Typing is a torture. I continue to have pain. And I don't want to depress my readers with my pain.

Every day I pray. All day long. Especially at night when at everthing is at it's worst.

I can hardly work. But I am hopeful do continue doing this blog. I want to contribute my story to MMK and to Star Cinema. And I want to write a book. With modern technology this can be done.

My prayers at night are varied...of frustration and of hope, of thanksgiving and of despair, of pain and of relief, of gratefulness to my mom and gratititude to Mama Mary, from wanting to go and from staying on to fulfill my mission...a kalleidoscope of desperation, hopes and dreams. My mind is all mixed up.

But I know in the end that God willl fix up everything. There will be tranquility.

I amwell-loved. Almost daily I get visitors to give me hope, consolation, presence also food and financial blessings. I am not able to digest the food yet but I am grateful for the thought. So, I pray for my visitors and they almost always cry. It is my gift to them. Because gratititude is all I can give at this points. Yest my life is one big thank you!

Each Step, a Thank You

These days, each step I take is a victory and I silently pray, "Thank You, Lord". Similarly when...

...I am able to sit down

...I am able to stand up

...I am able lie down

...I am able to rise from bed

...I am able to go to the bathroom and relieve myself

...I am able to take a bath

...and more! Praise God!

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I will again be receiving visitors instead of going out. Last night, three Maryknoller friends dropped by. They brought taho, fresh lumpia, guyabano and bananas. It was such a delight to see them! One showed pictures from her laptop. Too bad they could not stay long because they will visit another batchmate who has cancer.

Next Thursday, I will have another set of visitors. This time, sisters from community. I'm sure they will pray over me.

All I have to do is text or call my close friends and they will come over. What are friends for?

My chatmate said that I may be enjoying the attention. Maybe so, maybe so. But isn't that a very human desire? I never said I was perfect. All I know that seeing my friends make me happy.

Here are a couple of jokes I cracked yesterday.

1) Use seizure in a sentence.
I like walking by the seizure.

2) Anong presa ang hindi inaasahan?
Edi sor-presa!

He he
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Today, my aunt and uncle and a friend of theirs visited me and my mom. They stayed for over an hour. I particularly entertained them while mom was dressing up and putting on make-up. My aunt brought guava. Yehey.

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Recently, I watched part of "Bewitched" on cable TV, starring Nicole Kidman and Will Farrel. Funny movie.

I had fun coloring my coloring books yesterday. As well as answering crossword puzzles online.

It's a wonderful world! I love that song so much I made it my ringtone for my cellphone.

Twinkle, Twinkle

Once in a while, I shall use this site to pay tribute to my friends and people I care for. There are soooh many - if I concentrated on this alone, I would have material to write till Kingdom come! So, I'm really here for the long haul.

Today, let me talk about "Twinkle" (not her real name because she's too shy to let the world know how great she is). Last night, I wrote a thank-you letter in powerpoint presentation to her. But first as a backgrounder, just who is "Twinkle"?

1) She is a sister in community (we belong to the same Catholic Charismatic Community)
2) She was my prayer group leader
3) She is mestiza and prettier than me by "isang paligo" (one bath)
4) She loves to dance like me (she used to be a ballerina)
5) She is petite (we now have the same height since I lost 3 inches because of my osteoporosis)
6) She has the same birthmonth as me
7) She has treated me out and given me gifts many times

So here is the letter I wrote to her yesterday:

My dearest ______:

I want to thank you from the bottom of my bottomless heart for:

T - ruly caring for me through thick and thin (I was really fat when we first met, remember?)

W - ishing always the best for me (even during times when I least deserve it)

I - including me always in your prayers (because of them, I have come to believe in the power of prayer)

N - ot rejecting me when I am at my worst (to borrow words from that swing song - Last Dance - "...and when I'm bad, I'm so so bad!")

K - eeping in touch through the years (with you, I feel touched by an angel)

L - oving me more than just as a friend (more as a sister)

E - ver being there when I needed someone to talk to (countless of times in the past)

For all these and more, thank you! I love you, sister _____!

I keep saying that I count as among my greatest treasures, all the people who care for me - including friends like "Twinkle". (They more than make up for the fact that I still haven't found that special someone. But then again...)