A Lot of "Pathy"

Just a few weeks ago, I sent the following e-mail to many of my friends. Many emailed back saying they admire my sense of humor. So that is what this blogsite is about - making people laugh even at my expense.

Dear friends,

Aside from my usual illnesses (diabetes, renal anemia, bi-polar mood disorder, etc.), I've recently discovered that I have osteoporosis pati (also) radyculopathy pati (also) diabetic neuropathy. Puro (a lot of) "pathy" but I asked for no sympathy, only prayers. Feel free to visit also if you want but I am not bedridden like last year. I just have to walk around with a cane at a speed of 20 hours per mile, as my mom would put it.

I was rushed to the hospital last Thursday because I was having chest pains and difficulty of breathing which comes and goes. I asked my son to look up the symptoms of heart attack sa Internet and kasama mga ito so nagpaambulance na kami (and these were included so we already called an ambulance). Sarap pala sumakay ng ambulansya! (I didn't know it feels great riding an ambulance!) Feeling VIP! (I felt like a VIP!) Thank God they ruled out heart attack after doing an ECG, blood tests, x-ray, etc. The verdict? Cough! I have a terrible cough which I have a hard time expelling because try having a cough and back pains at the same time. Naiiritate daw yung thoracic lining ko and may infection na (They said my thoracic lining got irritated and there is an infection already) so I was given mucolytic, antibiotic, pain reliever, and asked to use a nebulizer as needed. So now, I'm taking 25 medicines a day.

Hay naku (Oh my), at the height of this, my funny son texted his friends to say "my mom is suffering from a mild heart attack". He also said that from head to foot something is wrong with me. Totoo naman (True enough):

1) HEAD - chronic recurrent bi-polar mood disorder (hey, I ain't manic-depressive, I'm bi-polar!)
2) EYES - near sighted with astigmatism
3) HEART - enlarged with a murmur daw - people have always said I'm big-hearted; (I'm also lonely-hearted, he he)
4) BACK - parang (like) coffee - may (with) scoliosis, sciatica and osteoporosis - edi (so) three in one!
5) BLOOD - diabetes
6) KIDNEY - renal anemia
7) NERVES - diabetic neuropathy
8) WEIGHT and HEIGHT - overweight, underheight (138 lbs for my height of 4'10" - I shrank 3 inches because of my sciatica)
9) TUMMY - pregnant looking
10) LEGS - bow-legged
11) FEET - flat footed, with occasional edema
12) WORST SICKNESS OF ALL! - cough with severe back pain

I've always believed that laughter is the best medicine but God is the Supreme Healer. So keep praying and send those jokes.

Take care. I love you all!
Nimia