Mid-Life Crisis and More

I was cleaning up my inbox when I saw the following food for thought from a friend regarding mid-life crisis:

"I think it becomes a crisis only when one loses direction. At midlife, one get's slapped with the reality of one's mortality and you become aware of a gnawing ache in the heart that will keep you searching for something you can not explain... the restlessness becomes overpowering.. and then you realize that what you are looking for is the peace that only God can give."

Beautiful and profound, don't you think?

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I started doing my FGD report. I'm excited about it because I love coming up with diagrams.

The last two groups were rescheduled for next Friday. Yehey. That means I don't have to hurry from Batangas to Dasmariñas Village tomorrow. I have a ride already to and from the party which is the 50th birthday celebration of Maryknollers in my batch. As of last count, there will be 45 attendees. It would be fun!

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I had lunch with my friend-client. It's her birthday treat for me. Almost a month late. We ate at Tong Yang along Quezon Avenue. It was eat and drink all you can, shabu-shabu. I enjoyed the food. But we couldn't finish it all.

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I watched "I Love You, Goodbye" starring Angelica Panganiban, Gabby Concepcion and Derek Ramsay. Not bad. Good enough for me to watch till the end, even when mom was calling to dinner already.
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Here's a beautiful picture:

Work and A Movie

The FGD last Friday went well. It was a lively group, the best of the three FGDs so far.

But, we had to wait for the secretary to arrive. She was 20 minutes late. And the spaghetti from Kenny Rogers was spoiled. We had it exchanged for chicken and rice.

Last night, I watched a funny movie entitled "Paul Blart: Mall Cop". I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Yesterday and today, I listened back to tapes to check the transcription.

New work came in. Will continue doing it tomorrow. I'm tired.

I'm concerned about what is happening in other parts of the world. Especially in Japan.

Things are Quiet

Mom has been away since yesterday morning. I see my son only in the morning and late evening. So I'm pretty much alone most of the day. Things are quiet.

Yesterday, I returned to plastic bags the plates, glasses and utensils. But it was my son who placed them inside the cabinets.

My FGD project - with the increase in cost - got approved after all. I am praying that all will go well. It's a rather difficult project but I welcome the challenge and of course, I need the money.

I have been playing scrabble on FB again. I am losing more often than winning. So my average is down to 50%. Oh no.

I have my period again after an "absence" of three months. I thought I had my menopause already. Actually, I can't wait. Having menstruation is such a hassle. But I'm thankful that I don't suffer from dysmenorrhea or PMS.

I would like to end by saying...I love God! Because He loves me so!

Feeling Not So Good

I should be feeling good because a friend treated me to Teriyaki Boy and gave me perfume. But I felt sorry for her as she told me about her problems. Couldn't help but feel bad for her. She cried a number of times.

Then, a friend who owns a research agency was late in coming to our 3 pm meeting. She arrived almost 5 pm already. She brought Shakey's pizza (which was my dinner already). We computed our costs for the FGD and looks like we have to charge P15,000 more per group. Client is likely to not approve so that's okay. I suddenly have lost enthusiasm for the project...And I did not get the payment I was expecting.

I did a rush project today. Not confident that I did a good job.

So, altogether, not a good day today.

On the other hand, I should be thankful for what I ate at Teriyaki Boy - salmon sashimi, chicken teriyaki, ebi tempura, miso soup, and yogurt with bananas. Thank You, Lord, for such blessings!

Last Night, I Didn't Get To Sleep...

Looks like the words from a song but the reason is totally different. I kept thinking of my FGD and its details.

It appears that it is grossly undercosted! I think I would have to substantially slash my fee. Oh no!
(The sacrifices I make for my projects.)

I hope despite the many things that could go wrong, everything will turn out fine in the end. Here's keeping my fingers crossed and then folded in prayer.

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It's my brother's birthday. I'm glad to know he recently got hired as general manager. He now sends monthly financial help. What are siblings for?

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End of the month is nearing. I hope to collect from three of my clients. Enough to pay for my medicines.

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I was able to get some sleep this afternoon. Feels good!

Now, I'm about to work on a project that is due tonight or tomorrow morning.

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A friend is coming over and she will bring me Mcdo Fillet o' Fish. Yehey. I will give her some stuff which don't fit me.

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I'm excited about our batch gettogether this Saturday. There will be about 18 of us. And the good news is looks like I finally have a ride going there. The poor guy lives in Cainta. The venue is in Pasig. So, I'm really out of the way. But I begged him to fetch me and I said he doesn't have to bring me home. Another attendee promised to be the one to bring me home. So problem solved!

Thank You, Lord!

Missing Home

The FGDs yesterday went okay except that the first one will be disregarded because the participants are not qualified.

I heard that there is an opening for a Marketing Research Consultant in a global market research agency. So, I was excited about it and could hardly sleep last night, thinking about the job. But when I called this morning, there was no such opening. Ha ha. Back to my life of waiting for projects to come but plenty of time to sleep and engage in hobbies.

This afternoon, to make up for lost sleep, I had several hours of sleep. I dreamt that we were back to our old home in Quezon City. How many times have I dreamed of that house! I miss it sooooh much! Will I ever get over it?

Some Days are Better than Others

Yesterday was not a good day. For one, the afternoon FGD was postponed to June 8. So I had to wait long. I was hungry so I had to spend for merienda. Then, in the evening, the FGD among doctors did not go well. I did not do a good job at moderating the group. I feel bad.

But today, I saw my friend, Jobert. Although he was late in fetching me, it was worth the wait. We ate at Cafe Adriatico. I first ordered dinuguan. But I was still hungry so I ate pancit palabok.

We wrote a poem together, entitled "New Love".

You came into my life when I was still hurting
Searching and believing that true love is out there
I am eager to discover if you are really the one
Opening my soul for the heart that we could share

You and I, we have much in common
The joy that we have is the sunshine of our day
The laughter we share brings happy moments
Our beautiful love has so many things to say

I treasure each second that I am with you
A loving comfort that brings much affection to me
When we are apart, I feel an emptiness inside
But when we are together, then I feel so free

I am a better person because of you
You have encouraged me to be the best of who I can be
With you in my life, I am glad to be me
For you have taught me how to be true

I wonder, will this new love of ours last?
Because I pray that we shall always be together
I feel so blessed to have found you
A new love that has begun hoping this will last forever

Yes, some days are better than others. Today was one such.

p.s. Jobert said I look like a midget in this picture. Ha ha. True!

I'm Too Sweet

Since I had an FGD today, I wasn't able to see my doctors. My Internist said my blood sugar is too high. (I'm too sweet!) So he prescribed another medicine to be taken before meals three times a day! Oh no, another expense.

But as mentioned earlier, my bone marrow test results are favorable. Down to a single digit figure. Whatever that means.

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The FGD a while ago had five participants. But according to Client, two of the five are "bogus" respondents and are not real sufferers of the ailment we were studying. That means we have to remove the answers/comments of the "impostors" from the discussion. Quite a difficult task especially for the analyst, who is none other than me. Hu hu.

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More work came in. Continuation of two past projects. One of which is a translation job.

Then, I will resume my seminar on report-writing on Wednesday.

In sum, I have enough work to keep me busy but I have enough time to relax in between tasks.

Thank You, Lord!

Finished at Last

It's been a looong day. I finished my UAI report at last. More than a hundred slides. Hope Client will be pleased with it.

Tomorrow, I might have one, two or even three FGDs. So I must rest already.

My cousin from the States gave me a rosary. Yehey!

Focus Group Discussion

Today, I practically panicked when I found out that Client did not print a copy of the FGD guide for our discussion. The participants were already complete when I arrived at Max's with my note-taker, Colleen.

We had the GD guide printed in one of the computer shops in Ali Mall. Whew! Just in time.

The FGD went okay except that practically the whole time, there was a brownout.
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Mom will be away for 16 days starting tomorrow! Oh no! She left some money behind but expects that I have some cash left when she returns.

I hope to have more projects. Lord, please grant me more sources of income. I need money badly. Already, I will not be taking Thalidomide for 15 days. It's the costliest of my maintenance medicines.

Additional Refund

I reviewed my income tax form and discovered that I failed to report income tax payments in previous quarters. So my refund increased further. Yehey! It pays to be poor!

Today, I prepared for my FGD tomorrow. I am praying that it will be smooth-sailing.

I am reading a book entitled "Last Man Standing". It was made into a movie. Looks interesting.

FGDs

Last night, I had my last of six FGDs. It went well.

I thought that was the end of my FGDs. Turns out, there will be another one tonight because the facilitator got sick. So, it's a working night for me!

I wonder how my mom's kidney stone procedure went? I hope everything will turn out fine.

Another FGD

The FGD last night went fine. Except that it lasted for two hours. Maybe it's because there were six participants instead of just four or five.

I still have a few reports to go. I should be done by next week.

I didn't win in the lotto. Yehey! No need to be afraid of kidnappers. Ha ha.

Better FGD

The FGD last night was about as good as the previous one last Friday. As I get familiar with the material, things get better. It's not easy facilitating groups with doctors as participants. One has to have some familiarity with the medical jargon.

I finished another category in my long report yesterday and I will work on one or two more categories today.

Tonight I have yet another FGD.

It's great to be working despite all my illnesses.

Better FGD

The FGD held yesterday was much better than the previous day. Except for some trembling of my hands at the beginning, I think I did better as a moderator. The group was also better in answering the questions.

Today, I worked on a report. It's a long one so I won't be through till maybe Monday.

Jobert and I wrote another poem via text, entitled "Lovely Days with You":

Every day we see each other
Hoping this moment lasts forever
We enjoy each other’s company
Expressing happy feelings so freely

Walking along the beach, you hold my hand
Enjoying the cool breeze and the soft sand
We laugh and play like children
A happiness that’s heaven-sent
We never seem to run out of things to say
When cheerfulness will always find a way
I always thank God for you
For a life that may be lived anew

*poetry by Nimia Gamo (purple lines) and Jobert Abiva (blue lines)

FGD

I facilitated the first of six FGDs (focus group discussions) yesterday. I'm not too happy with the way I moderated the group. My voice was nervous at the start. I did not use the conversational style when speaking to the participants. I lacked probing questions or overprobed sometimes. I let the participants discuss among themselves and failed to join in their discussion.

I hope I will do better tomorrow.

I worked on a report today. It's quite long so I was not able to finish.

Colds and Cough

I was supposed to have an FGD (focus group discussion) today. But God is good. The FGD was postponed for Wednesday.

I would not have been a good moderator because I have colds and cough. Maybe, by Wednesday, my condition will be better.

My tracer study is not going well. We still have only 29 respondents. Oh how to get 71 more?