Thursday, July 23, 2009

Lightening up is taking too much time

I really, really, really have to de-stress and work less and sleep/rest more.

I am already making decisions towards these goals but it's much easier said than done.

I have been so busy, I have been missing a few of my daily blogs recently. Haven't you noticed.

But I will make up for it, by writing two posts on some days.

Today, my beloved son cracked me up again.

He said, "Ma, everyday you are looking more and more like Quasemodo (of Hunchback of Notre Dame)." I am hunchback, I have broken front tooth, I have Herpes Zoster. Oh noooh! I'm getting uglier. But coming from my son, my natural reaction is laugh!

My son has a wonderful sense of humor...sarcastic. Totally different from mine (corny, punny). He's my number one alaskador or teaser. But no matter how much he teases me, I just love it! Because I know it's his way of making lambing or showing his affection towards me.

There are many things that make me cry these days...I don't mean to complain but - I wish I could lie on a bed again! I wish I don't have to work so hard so I can relax some more and enjoy life I wish I was less of a burden to my family and to the two people I live with and whom I love the most - my mom and my son I wish I can dance again

...BUT my most ardent wish, the one that makes me cry the hardest is how I wish I won't have to leave my son soon. I'm going to miss him and I know he will miss me too. Who is going to scratch his back? Who is he going to make alaska? Who is he going to ask money from when he direly needs it? WHO is going to love him the way only a mother can?

I am crying again as I write this.

But God is good. I believe in miracles. I believe in blessings in the midst of trials. God is a good God, a loving Father. He will take care of my son and all the loved ones I shall leave behind.

Reality check: guys and girls, multiple myeloma has two to five years average life expectancy. That means...I'm only 48 now, if the statistics are right and my verrrry expensive medicine prolongs my life just a bit, I may not reach senior citizen age! Boo hoo. How can I avail of my 20 per cent discount on food, medicines, transportation and other special privileges?

Haay naku, here I am, trying to cheer people up when I need the cheering up. Typical me.

Hey, I might write a book entitled "I have the Write to Live". What say you? I shall fill it with beautiful memories, sad moments as well because that's part of life, but mainly my way of saying thank you to loved ones - family members, other relatives, friends (hu there are lots of them), even strangers.

Okay, bye for now.


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