Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Who Wants to Be a Thousandaire?


Kaya pala.
So kamusta ka na?
Tulog na si Kumander
Si bossing pala
Ay si si Naku patay kang bata ka
Ha ha

Cute pala anak ko
ha ha
Suplado lang
Akala niya
Hyper ako
Hindi naman
Looking at smiley lang naman where is smiley?
there in a corner with a broken tooth
Quasemodo raw ako? Ha ha

The young.

I met jobert
his my new playmate
I mean Client he he
From La Salle
Abiva publishing company

I just remembered something...

bye now.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Wonder of Internet

I'm kinda tired

Not much sleep

SONA....had to take notes for mom

found wondeful site called mentioned by my friend Leah Macatangay.

whew! kapoy kaayo! pagod na me! sleepy na me!

good night (i hope)


Sunday, July 26, 2009

Who Wants to Be a Thousandaire?

Today, I had great, great fun!

It's Sunday. I just love Sundays. The way I love Mondays, and Tuesdays, and Wednesdays....

This particular Sunday is special.

I tuned in to Channel 5 to hear Bo Sanchez lead beautiful singing and praising of God.
He said one of the privileges of his life is to pray for dying people. He said that when it comes to dying, there are only two kinds of people: those who are afraid to die, and those who are not.

Am I afraid? Most definitely not!

Am I ready? Not sure.

Do I want to? least, not yet.


I was helping fix my things and I kinda got the idea to give away stuff I don't need to de-clutter the condo. Mom keeps saying I have so many stuff. (My mom? She's the neatest person in the world, in more ways than one!)

So, I had a brilliant idea! Why don't I give away my stuff, and make other people happy? And as my brother Nerick believes, "Charity begins at home." Today, we had a family gathering because it was Daddy's birthday last Friday.

I couldn't wait for every one to arrive!

Sure enough, they arrived in batches...but there were only 15 of us. My son, Abby, Coby, Eileen and Norenz were not around. Could have been even more fun.

The food? rice, two kinds of chicken, rellenong bangus, inihaw na baboy, pancit Malabon, dilis, softdrinks, and the biggest hit-- fruit salad in a cup! (Oyie's treat for having been promoted to VP status)

Then, my 4 nieces and 1 nephew played "What wants to be a thousandaire?" Each set their eyes on a prize and tried to answer more and more difficult questions.

We sort of had a theme "Matulungin", the street where we used to live.

Questions like -

...what did we first have? a) basketball court b) billiard table c) pingpong table d) mah jong table

...what car did we first have in Matulungin? a) Buick b) Fiat c) Volkswagen d) Lancer many Bolibols did we have? (the maids ending with the family name Bolibol)

...which of the cousins had the most number of yayas? (answer: Eena, with 7!)

...and so on.

All too soon, they had to go.

Aww, just when I was still having fun!

That's the way with can't wait to see hate to see them go...

...till next time...

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Long Lost Friend

Today, I talked for long hours with a long "lost" friend.

He's staying in the States now, I don't know which one.

I had fun talking with him.

Many times, I wanted to cry, because I realized I miss him soooh much.

How many more friends will I miss?

But more importantly, how many more will I get the wonderful privilege of reconnecting with through the magic of modern technology.

We reminisced about the past....what happened to each other through the years...what could have happened.

Oh, G.A.! If it had been us, could my life have gone a different direction?

He gave me a coloring book! (He remembered that I love coloring books!) I had fun coloring during "Who Wants to be a Millionnaire?" time.

He explained to me the difference between Republicans and Democrats. As he was explaining things, I realized I am neither (why should I be? I'm Filipino!)

He asked a lot about my manic-depression but avoided the topic of depression (too depressing).

I learned he had a heart attack. I told him how it was to be in a manic state.

He told me about his wife and two daughters. I told him about my ex and my son.

Oh, I don't know how many hours we talked but with a long lost friend, it just seemed minutes. I didn't want to hang up.

So, G.A. have a good life! You are likely to outlive me, so stay good with all the temptations of the world.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Thorn Removed!!!

Today is the birthday of my beloved Daddy (deceased) and their wedding anniversary.

Today, my Daddy, gave me a birthday gift. He must have prayed to God to spare me of all the pains and troubles and difficulties that I have been experiencing these past weeks. A big, big project was terminated due to unacceptable output and timing. I was supposed to be on top of it but under the circumstances, can anybody blame for failing on the job?

Thank You, Lord, You are a great and wonderful God!

An Entire Day "Wasted"

When there's little time left can there really be such thing as an entire day wasted?

From the perspective of, I should finish four reports and I am just now starting (beyond 12 midnight), yesterday was a total waste.

But as always, I shift gear, wear my "pink shades" or positive-thinking goggles then the day just past was not entirely wasted....

....I was with my mom practically the whole day at the Kidney Institute

....I have my period so I could not have a urinalysis

....We waited looooong for my internist to arrive and I fell asleep (glorious sleep!)

...We ate lunch....I ate sizzling tanique (delicious but I deliberately didn't finish it so I can have something left over for dinner)

....We had to go to another diagnostics center nearby to have a dopler ultrasound but the technician is only on duty twice a week

....We immediately got back to NKI to meet their 2 pm deadline...lucky me, I was accommodated

....I befriended the ultrasound guys and girls and they laughed when I asked one of them (with an American accent) "What State do you come from?" "Oh, the state of calamity!" We laughed again

....Good news! Seems like I don't have any blood clot but just plain water retention because of my steroids and my constant sitting position

....My friend shared half of her earnings from a transcription job and I was able to give some money to my son

....My son was able to buy a nice polo shirt and pants from Folded & Hung. He's going to work very soon as branch manager right away. (I'm proud of my son!)

....An analyst I trained just yesterday said she's ready to do one report already. So I sent her a trial report to write.

...Another friend is coming to be oriented maybe with another friend this Saturday.

...Two of my former students are willing to be my assistants in my many projects.

...And more!

See? Not bad for a "wasted" day huh?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Lightening up is taking too much time

I really, really, really have to de-stress and work less and sleep/rest more.

I am already making decisions towards these goals but it's much easier said than done.

I have been so busy, I have been missing a few of my daily blogs recently. Haven't you noticed.

But I will make up for it, by writing two posts on some days.

Today, my beloved son cracked me up again.

He said, "Ma, everyday you are looking more and more like Quasemodo (of Hunchback of Notre Dame)." I am hunchback, I have broken front tooth, I have Herpes Zoster. Oh noooh! I'm getting uglier. But coming from my son, my natural reaction is laugh!

My son has a wonderful sense of humor...sarcastic. Totally different from mine (corny, punny). He's my number one alaskador or teaser. But no matter how much he teases me, I just love it! Because I know it's his way of making lambing or showing his affection towards me.

There are many things that make me cry these days...I don't mean to complain but - I wish I could lie on a bed again! I wish I don't have to work so hard so I can relax some more and enjoy life I wish I was less of a burden to my family and to the two people I live with and whom I love the most - my mom and my son I wish I can dance again

...BUT my most ardent wish, the one that makes me cry the hardest is how I wish I won't have to leave my son soon. I'm going to miss him and I know he will miss me too. Who is going to scratch his back? Who is he going to make alaska? Who is he going to ask money from when he direly needs it? WHO is going to love him the way only a mother can?

I am crying again as I write this.

But God is good. I believe in miracles. I believe in blessings in the midst of trials. God is a good God, a loving Father. He will take care of my son and all the loved ones I shall leave behind.

Reality check: guys and girls, multiple myeloma has two to five years average life expectancy. That means...I'm only 48 now, if the statistics are right and my verrrry expensive medicine prolongs my life just a bit, I may not reach senior citizen age! Boo hoo. How can I avail of my 20 per cent discount on food, medicines, transportation and other special privileges?

Haay naku, here I am, trying to cheer people up when I need the cheering up. Typical me.

Hey, I might write a book entitled "I have the Write to Live". What say you? I shall fill it with beautiful memories, sad moments as well because that's part of life, but mainly my way of saying thank you to loved ones - family members, other relatives, friends (hu there are lots of them), even strangers.

Okay, bye for now.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

More Decisions

I had to admit to my foreign clients my condition

That I am sick of the big "C"

That's why I am not as productive as last year.

I'm waiting to hear what they have to say.

My doctor says "You know what your limits are"

Yes yet I keep stretching those limits, undersleeping and overworking.

Not anymore...."Health is wealth" is my new battle cry!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sunday, Fun Day, Workday

Today, I was reminded be Fr. Mario that it is important to rest.

And so today, I rested for a while.

Colored a coloring book

Listened to Sergio Mendez.

Two friends from Maryknoll...and we made kwento and reminisced.

One brought siopao, the other, French Baker bread stuff.

But then when my friends were gone, and my mom and i ate lunch, i just had to go back to work.

A meeting was held. I made her write the report.

Now I have a long night ahead of work again.

I have treatment again tomorrow.

Bless my work, Lord, that it may be pleasing to You above all.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

If Only You Knew...

I look at you as you sleep soundly on the floor

and I am filled with sadness.

As you dress up and get ready for work,

I miss you already knowing the next time I will see you is in the evening.

When you arrive home and kiss me

I am filled with joy!

No matter how busy I am,

I don't mind you asking to play for a while using my computer.

Just being near you,

There is a tenderness that swells inside of me.

Oh, if you only knew, you are the joy of my dearly beloved son!

Friday, July 17, 2009

My Three-Sentence Rule

When I started blogging, I vowed to post daily....for a minimum of three sentences.

Just a few days ago, I broke that rule. I wrote only two sentences...the one on procrastination haha.

Today, with a report long over due, another one due tomorrow and so on, I have to make this post a real short one.


I hold my head high and say: I made it through the rain, the pain, and therefore, the gain.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Care Package

Today I received a care package from an old friend.

It was a big box of goodies!

Several coloring materials

A coloring book (yehey)

A thick, classy journal

A DVD of a romantic comedy

Sergio Mendez CDs

It' a as if it was my birthday!

Thanks very much, my dear friend, G!

You made me very happy today!

That's what friends are for?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Someone sent me some lovely flowers but except for roses, I don't know their names

Nevertheless, I always look at them because they brighten my day and lift up my spirits

Today, two friends came over and brought Chinese lunch

It was a feast!

Then we watched part of Oprah's interview of MJ, exchanged stories, had fun!

My assistant came and helped me prepare modules for tomorrow's workshop.

What a lovely day indeed!

Thank you, Lord!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Getting Better, Getting There

Things are lightening up

Work is getting done

Received beautiful flowers recently

Will have Chinese food for lunch tomorrow with friends visiting

A new client

The angry client becomes an apologetic one

My son has started working

Little miracles coming my way

Thank You so much, Lord!

Monday, July 13, 2009


If there's anything I don't like in myself it's proscrastination...

And so I shall finish this post tomorrow....

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Makes me Wonder

Why is it that despite my many tasks I am unable to work productively?

Too worried? Too bothered? Or just not in the mood?

Nevertheless, I am slowly seeing the light

People are helping, other people are more than willing to help, many more are praying

Thank you, Lord, for friends and people who care.

Clear my mind, Lord, pour upon me Your wisdom so that

my clients will be pleased with my reports and output.

I trust You, Lord.

I love You.

Without You, where will I be?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Humbling Experience

I feel so sad

Sad because my back is aching, my leg is painful, my body is tired

Yet there is so much to do

Clients are waiting for their reports

People are needing my assistance

I am being pulled towards different directions

There is not enough money


And so I cry.

Because I know that my God's heart weakens when I cry.

I don't bribe the Lord of course with my tears.

But He is moved when I am at my weakest.

I thought I could do many things

Now I realize I can do only so much.

A humbling experience indeed.

Lord, wipe my tears away.

There is so much I want to do

Before I leave this earthly life.

Let me choose to do the most important things

That of loving and serving the most important people in life.

Sad. I feel bad.

Comfort me, Lord, in this time of sorrow.

I can't think, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate.

But I know I must deliver, I must come up with good reports and output.

Decision time.

And my decision is....I shall continue to trust You, no matter what.

This, too, shall pass.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Thank God I Have Limits

Sometimes I make decisions as if I were Superwoman, as I would live forever, as if I possessed super human powers...

A Messianic complex, that's what I have.

Wanting to save all the problems of the world.

Wanting to do so much, too much

Such that my health is already suffering.

It's taking it's toll.

Time to stop.

Time to pause.

Time to say, "I give up!"

I concede...I surrender...I am not God!

Lord, forgive me.

Show me the way.

Teach me how to say no.

Lead me to the best path.

Let me not travel too many roads at the same time.

Be my guide.

I am lost.

Help me find my way back to You.

For You ought to be the center of my life.

You are my True North.

You are Lord...I am just Nimia.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Decision Time

There is a time for everything

And the time now is for rest.

I shall take things slowly...

Because slowly means deliberately.

I will be much more

Relaxed and more productive.

Sleep I must.

The other things will take care of themselves.

The jigsaw pieces shall fall neatly into place.

In God, I trust.

I Screamed!!!

Sometimes too much is too much!

I am working so hard

There are so many things I want to do

I have so many projects

Both "external" and those which are internally initiated.

Oh me oh my, when will I ever learn?

Is this because I want to accomplish as much as I can before I go?

Or I am fighting very hard to prolong my life and it just so haappens that my medicines are super duper expensive...and that I don't want to burden my family with finding the money?

Lord, teach me not to panic.

Teach me to relax.

Teach me to rest in You.

Teach me to have faith .

Everything will be just fine.

Because you are a Super God

And I am no super woman...just an ordinary woman but wonderfully made.

So, instead of screaming, I ought to...

Shout to the Lord all the earth let us sing

Power and majesty praise to the King!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Slumdog Millionnaire

A feel good movie.

That's why it won several Academy awards.

David among the Goliaths.

I am a millionnaire!

Rich in friends and loved ones!

Thank You, Lord!

I am dying....

Multiple myeloma has no known cure.

My verrrry expensive medicines are only for prolonging my life.

In other words...I am dying.

I am eager to see my Creator and meet my father again.

But then I believe in miracles.

And so I have this to say -

I am dying...

To tell all of you that I love you!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

30 day retreat

I "re-started" my 30 day retreat which Bo Sanchez is encouraging everyone to take.

I don't have marbles so I use colored paper clips for every day ( a total of 30) which i placed in a tin heart-shaped can. I put masking tape on top saying "My 30-day retreat". On the side, I wrote, "It's pure joy to be alive!"

I placed my yellow paper clip with smiley inside my duster's pocket. I kept touching it the whole day. I also kept squeezing a stress ball with smiley.

I wrote a list of things to do and I've cancelled out practically every item by now. My list looks like this:

...write three reports the newspaper

...hear mass (TV and Internet)

...listen to Bible Reflections

...pray Bible

...plan the week on other writing projects

...plan fundraisers up, email, and chat with friends extra loving to my mom and son

WOW! All that in one single day!

I just learned that multiple myeloma has no known cure. Velcade will only prolong my life.

And so I take this 30 day retreat from a perspective of a woman who is truly dying even as I hope that God will heal me completely.

So here is my short, short prayer:

I offer You this day
Every step of the way.

This, I have to say
It is bar none
A wonderful Day No. one!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Therapeutic Tears

Some people hate it when they hear me cry.

They think I'm having another nervous breakdown.

But don't they know?

Tears can be therapeutic.

When they fall from my eyes, it's like water washing out the pain inside of me.

If I don't cry it out, my bad feelings will remain trapped inside.

I know you all love me but please...

Once in a while, just let me cry.

Let my tears fall...all my psychiatrists say they are therapeutiic.

Maybe I should sell them in bottles called "Nimia's tears".

In my lifetime, I have shed oceans of tears.

I could have been rich selling those bottles!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Family Council

I made a decision.

Mom reacts - she's mad. "Why are they threatening you?"

Kuya says, " Don't be gullible!"

Youngest brother says, " Doctors know best. And no to networking."

My sister says, "Don't be hard-headed!"

My reaction? Tears. Am I not entitled to cry?

Final decision: My decision irrevocably revoked.

Scolded and Hanged

Yesterday, I was scolded by my foreign clients. Reprimanded. Expressing disappointment over our handling of a very big project. Too bad but it was a wake up call for me.

And so, I took control over things. Apologized. Set things right.

Results? My chartists now know how to chart. I finished one report. Two sets of charts are ready for analysis. One will be done soon, too.

Problem solved. Lessons learned. Like...

...Do not procrastinate.

...Know your priorities.

...Give your best...always.

...Stay humble. Admit your fault.

Client has been appeased. I still have work to do and there are several more reports to be done in the next three months for the same client. That big huh.

So there. I needed some scolding and spanking to be a good girl again.

Serves me right.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Two Civil Servants

My mom told me about two civil servants...aka government employees.

One was cranky, rude, inconsiderate, condescending, impatient
Not fitting for the job!
She shouted at the poor, old, sick people who have been waiting hours in line.
Poor folks!

One was funny, brought laughter to everyone.
His role was just to call out names.
He said _______, won a Nissan Patrol.
Next! is ______from San Francisco, USA ay Del Monte.
And on he went.
There goes Mr. Comedian the audience would say.
Giving cheer everywhere.

Same government agency.
Two totally different employees.
What a world of difference - a sharp tongue vs. a sense of humor.
Which would you rather be a "victim" of?