Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A Vivid Dream

Last night, I had a vivid dream...of one of my former boyfriends. Let's call him Joey (not his real name).

We were in a sort of round room, big enough for a small audience. There was an on-the-spot dance contests and Joey and I were the first contestants. I apologized for not being able to dance well - my back ached.

There was a tray of all sort of products that can be sprayed on. They were shouting to the judges to use a spray on Joey's thing so that it will swell. But I said, "No, just give him something that would make him smell good." Then, I woke up.

Joey is my second boyfriend. But he hurt me emotionally because he "three-timed" me. The other girls were a sexy girl with big boobs who danced well, the other was a pretty girl with long straight hair who later became a bit actress.

On Valentine's Day, Joey made me believe he still loved me because he brought me three red roses.

But then, I insisted that he bring me to their ball. (He was the president of one of the student organizations.) We ate at the presidential table. We had the first dance. Then suddenly, Ms. Sexy Girl became his partner and Joey's best friend became my partner.

Later, when I was on my way to the ladies' room, Joey was on the phone with the other pretty girl who baked him some brownies.

It was Joey's friend who brought me home.

It was the most embarrassing night of my life!

But I'm 50 now. I think I dreamt that dream because it's a sign that I should forgive everyone who has hurt me in the past.

So Joey, wherever you are, I forgive you. You were young then. Insecure as you said. I remember we already chatted in Facebook and asked for forgiveness. And I said then that I forgive you. The dream? It's just a reminder that there are other Joey's out there who need my forgiveness.

And I need to forgive myself, too, for all the people I have hurt. There are many.

World, forgive me! I am but human.

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