Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Guilty of Alcohol Abuse

Last Sunday, a few friends came over and we had dinner. Someone brought food and I served rice and gelatin with pineapples (my "dish" for the week). Another friend brought red wine but a funny thing happened. We could not open the bottle and ended up "hammering" down the cork.

Perplexed, I posted the following question in Yahoo Answers:

How to open a bottle of red wine?

A friend recently brought red wine for dinner and since it was not yet cold, we put it in the freezer. When it was time to open the bottle with a cork screw, nobody could do it! We ended up using two can openers, a pair of scissors, a skewer and a hammer to force down the cork instead of forcing it out of the bottle. What should we have done?

So far, I have received 10 answers, some of which are serious ones like:

  • Red wine should NEVER be refrigerated (or frozen).... It's supposed to be served room temperature! You would normally open it 10-45 min. ahead of time, to let it "breathe". Use a wine bottle opener with "wings" and the corks will come right out
  • Is putting it in the freezer relevant to not being able to open the cork? You need to make sure the screw is put right down in as far as it can possibly go - even go one turn further - then if it has "arms' just pull down the arms. If it doesn't have the arms you need some muscles! It takes a few goes to get used to. PS drink red wine at room temp, it's better!
  • Why the hell do you drink your red wine cold, let alone ice cold? You should have left the wine out and opened it when it was room temperature. In that situation a corkscrew would have worked just fine.
But it's the funny ones that I love!

  • Freeze wine completely, smash glass of with hammer, remove as many shards as possible, eat with spoon as a gratinata
  • That's alcohol abuse rite there, you should never treat red wine like that.

  • Get the bottle, smash it on the side of the kitchen counter avoiding the shards. Pour wine from shattered neck. Are you even old enough to be drinking?
The truth of the matter is, I don't even drink! Not a drop. (Ask my friends.) Why? Because I don't like the taste of wine, beer or any liquor. Because I don't like the smell of wine, beer or any liquor. And because of my bi-polar condition, I cannot be intoxicated in any way.

So me? Alcohol abuser? No way!


  1. I would think:

    Buy a bottle with a screw top (quicker to open) folowed by get a straw.

    If anyone else wants to share, get them shorter straws.

  2. Ha ha ha, you're so funny, Sy! You're so much funnier than me! Actually, lots of people are funnier than me...but I try harder.

  3. There is ya problem then! Dont try! Just let it all come out. Trust me...I dont work much on my posts. Well, normally I dont get a chance because I have opened a screw top bottle of wine and handed my wife a straw with a blockage and managed to drink the lot to thinking is not something I would say I am capable of. Even when sober!

    And you are funny!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. i find your attempt to look for answers in yahoo REALLY funny. Idol ko pagiging jolly mo ma'am.

  6. You're pretty jolly yourself, Ace. Or should I say you're handsome jolly? (Naks!) BTW, what does "This post has been removed by the author"?

  7. Oops, I mean - What does "This post has been removed by the author" mean?

  8. Hi Tita Nim!

    Ace must have double posted his comment that's why he removed the other comment. :)

    I didn't know about the part "Are you old enough to be drinking?". That really cracks me up! :D

  9. Thanks, Khay, for the clarification. Report for work today ha? Bukas na deadline natin but as you know, this blog has been keeping me busy he he.

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