Noypi English...Perfectly Broken

While going through my old files, I came across one labelled "Noypi". It seems that on May 23, 2006, I downloaded from the Internet a list of "wrong English" statements. [Sorry, I cannot acknowledge the source because I failed to copy it.]

The sentences are so funny I decided to share them with you. For my own input, I added (in parentheses) my continuation, my own version, and my responses.

MY CONTINUATION

"First and for all." (I have to speak what I have to say.)
"Take things first at a time." (And time will take a course.)
"The idea crossed at the back of my mind." (And it went out at the other ear.)
"That's what I'm talking about it." (You are not paying a tension.)
"This is our rooster of clients..." (And this is the chicken before the egg.)
"You can never can tell." (Or it is not a secret no more.)
"For all intense and purposes." (My goal is the aim as yours.)
"It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore." (So, the solution lies with your hands.)
"You want to have your cake and bake it too." (Go ahead...the proof of the cake is in the pudding.)
"I ran into some errands." (And I bumped into a sticker.)
"One of these days is not like the other." (But today is like day ja vu.)
"Let's call it tonight!" (Yup, tomorrow's open [bukas])

MY VERSION

"Burn the bridge when you get there." (Cross your fingers when you lick them.)
"Annulled and void." (Divorced is over.)
"Been there, been that." (Bean here, bean there...no other vegetables?)
"The feeling is actual." (What is emotion will remain emotion.)
"The sky's the langit." (The ocean's da-gat.)
"Base-to-base casis." (Its depend.)
"Please me alone!" (I need to belong to myself.)
"So far, so good, so far." (So near and yet so good to be true.)
"I couldn't care a damn." (I don't give less!)
"Hi, I'm Nimia. What's yours? (Your last name is Gamo, right? What's your surname?)

MY RESPONSE

"What's your next class before this?" (I'm jologs, I don't have class.)
"I can't take it anymore of this!" (You're too match!)
"Are you sure ka na ba?" (I'm certainly!)

As Shakespeare would never put it, "That's all, that ends...well?"