Tortang Torture Part 1 (Omelette Torture Part 1)

As part of my January resolutions, I decided to learn how to cook a supposedly very simple dish...tortang giniling (ground meat omelette). I searched the net and saw several interesting recipes, which left me quite confused.

So I consulted my cousin, Karen, who is based in Spain. Below is our actual conversation at YM -

Nimia: Marunong ka bang magluto ng tortang giniling? Magluluto kami ni mommy non for lunch e excited na ako! (Do you know how to cook ground meat omelette? Mom and I are cooking that for lunch and I'm excited already!)

Karen: Tortang giniling lang? Madali lang 'yon eh (Ground meat omelette only? That's so easy)

Nimia: Paano? (How?)

Karen: Di alam ng Mommy mo? (Your mom does not know how?)

Nimia: Kumakalat lagi yung ingredients (The ingredients keep spilling)

Karen: Gisa ka ng bawang, sibuyas at kamatis (Saute some garlic, onions, and tomatoes)

Karen: Then, ilagay mo ang giniling w/ salt and pepper (Then, put the ground meat with salt and pepper)

Karen: Bati ka ng itlog. (Beat some eggs)

Nimia : Ayoko ng pepper. Pwedeng walang pepper? Pwedeng instead of kamatis, potatoes na lang? (I don't like pepper. Can we do without pepper? Can it be potatoes instead of tomatoes?)

Karen: If you don't like pepper eh di huwag mong lagyan (Don't put pepper if you don't like it)

Nimia: Yung salt sa giniling o sa itlog ilalagay? (The salt - where do I put it, in the ground pork or the eggs?)

Karen: Puede rin potatoes instead of kamatis (Potatoes instead of tomatoes is okay)

Karen: Ano ka ba, step by step na nga di mo pa maintindihan? (What's wrong with you? I'm already giving step-by-step instructions and you still don't get it?)

Nimia: Okay

Karen: Potatoes must be cut into small cubes

Nimia: Okay kelan ilalagay yung potatoes? (Okay, when do you put the potatoes?)

Karen: Okay, let's start again

Karen: Unahin mo na munang i-prito ang patatas dahil mas matagal 'yon kaysa sa bawang at sibuyas (Start frying the potatoes first because they take longer than garlic and onion)

Karen: Pag half cook na ang patatas, ilagay mo ang sibuyas (When the potatoes are half-cooked, put the onions)

Nimia: Anong hitsura ng half cooked potatoes? (How do half-cooked potatoes look like?)

Karen: Turning brown (almost)

Karen: Okay?

Nimia: Isang patatas lang na cubed? Then ilang sibuyas, isa rin? (One potato cubed only? Then how many onions, one also?)

Karen: Ilang kilo bang giniling? (How many kilos of ground meat?)

Karen: 1/4?

Karen: O ilang grams? (Or how many grams?)

Nimia: Tatlo lang kami so tama one fourth kilong giniling (There are just three of us who will be eating so right, one fourth kilo of ground meat)

Karen: Ok, so handa ka ng 1 or 2 potatoes dahil depende din sa size ng potatoes mo (Okay, so prepare 1 or 2 potatoes because it depends on the size of your potatoes)

Karen: Dito kasi malalaki ang patatas eh (Here, the potatoes are large)

Nimia: Okay

Nimia: One medium size na lang (Just one medium size)

Karen: Handa mo na rin 'yung giniling with salt. Bahala ka (Ready the ground meat with salt as well. It's up to you)

Karen: 4 or 5 eggs (bati) (4 or 5 beaten eggs)

Karen: With salt siempre (With salt of course)

Nimia: Ang dami naman! Sabi sa ibang recipe, 3 eggs lang (How plenty! The other recipes say only 3 recipes)

Karen: Handa mo na rin 'yon (Prepare them as well)

Karen: Dahil ang patatas eh malakas sumipsip (Because pototoes absorb a lot)

Nimia: Okay

Karen: Kung kamatis s'ya eh okay na 'yung 3 (If it were tomatoes, 3 egss would be fine)

Karen: Where are we now?

Nimia: Gaano karaming salt? (How much salt?)

Nimia: Sa giniling? Sa itlog? (In the ground meat? In the eggs?)

Karen: Tanchahin mo lang. Konti lang dahil di ka naman puede ng maraming salt (Just estimate it. Just a little amount since you cannot have too much salt)

Karen: Kung sino 'yung gusto ng salty eh maglagay na lang s'ya ulit sa ibabaw when it's done (Those who like salty can just put salt on top when it's done)

Nimia: Pag medyo brown na ang potatoes sabi mo sibuyas, ilang sibuyas? (When the potatoes are somewhat brown already, you said put onion, how many onions?)

Karen: 2 siguro dahil maliit lang ang sibuyas d'yan di ba? 'Yung kulay pula s'ya? (Maybe two because the onions there are small, right? The red ones?)

Nimia: Okay then the bawang? (Okay, then the garlic?)

Karen: Cut it into small cubes din (Cut it into small cubes also)

Nimia: Alin yung sibuyas o yung bawang? (Which ones, the onions or the garlic?)

Karen: 'Yung sibuyas (The onions)

Karen: Ang bawang chop naman (The garlic, chop instead)

Nimia: Okay next?

Karen: After half cook na ang sibuyas ilagay mo na ang bawang (After the onions are half-cooked, put the garlic already)

Karen: Be careful at madaling masunog ang bawang (Be careful for garlic gets burned easily)

Nimia: Anong hitsura ng half-cooked sibuyas? (What do half-cooked onions look like?)

Karen: Half cooked na sibuyas looks like lantang halaman (Half-cooked onions look like wilted plants)

Nimia: Okay

Karen: Nagiging transparent ang kulay n'ya (Their color becomes transparent)

Nimia: E yung bawang naman up to what extent? (What about the garlic, up to what extent?)

Karen: Medium fire ka lang ha (Just use medium fire)

Karen: 'Yung bawang basta don't let it turn brown (The garlic, just don't let it turn brown)

Nimia: Ilang bawang pala? (How many garlic, by the way?)

Karen: Sandali lang 'yon. In a minute, puede mo ng ilagay ang giniling with salt (Just a short while. In a minute, you can put the ground meat with salt)

Karen: Kalahating ulo, okay na (Half a head would suffice)

Nimia: Tapos bilisan mo na magluluto na kami (Then? Faster because we will start cooking already)

Karen: 'Yung giniling naman (Then the ground meat)

Karen: Dapat medyo haluin mo palagi para mahihiwalay s'ya hanggang sa maluto (You should mix it well until it gets cooked)

Nimia: Anong hitsura ng lutong giniling? (How does cooked ground meat look like?)

Karen: Then, ilagay mo na 'yung binating itlog mo (Then put your beaten egg)

Karen: Anong giniling ba s'ya? Baka o baboy? O mix? (What kind of ground meat? Beef or pork? Or mixed?)

Nimia: Yung ibang recipe, sabi yung giniling hindi fully cooked and let cool. Tapos ihalo sa binating itlog bago ilagay sa medium fire. Ano ba talaga? (The other recipes say the ground meat should not be fully cooked and let cool. Then with the beaten egg before placing on medium fire. Which is which?)

Nimia: Baboy (Pork)

Karen: Ang baboy eh puti s'ya (Pork is white)

Karen: Okay, huwag mo na munang ibuhos 'yung ingredients mo sa itlog (Okay, don't pour the ingredients to your eggs)

Nimia: Too many cooks spoil the broth sabi ni mommy. Ikaw na ngang masusunod (Too many cooks spoil the broth, says mommy. I'd better just follow you)

Nimia: Anong next? (What's next?)

Karen: Pag luto na ang giniling, ilagay mo sa binating itlog and get a fork (When the ground meat is cooked, put in the beaten eggs and get a fork)

Nimia: Tapos? (Then?)

Karen: Medyo press mo ang patatas para mas masarap ang lasa (Somewhat press the potatoes to be more delicious-tasting)

Karen: Pipiin mo ang patatas. (Press flat the potatoes)

Nimia: Okay

Karen: Then, ibuhos mo sa frying pan lahat (Then, pour everything in a frying pan)

Karen: Low fire

Nimia: Okay

Karen: Then, turn it over para maluto naman 'yung kabilang side (Then, turn it over so the other side will be cooked)

Nimia: Naiinip na si mommy (Mommy is getting impatient)

Karen: Sandali lang 'yon (That will take a just a short while)

Nimia: Ilang minutes per side? (How many minutes per side?)

Karen: In 30 secs. luto na (In 30 seconds, it is cooked already)

Karen: One side 1 min.

Nimia: What will prevent the ingredients from spilling?

Nimia: Can we add flour?

Karen: Nope

Karen: No flour

Karen: Ano pa? (What else?)

Nimia: Okay we're done?

Nimia : Muchos gracias [Note: By this time, I leave the chat room and Karen is left talking to herself]

Karen: Ok, tell me kung anong lasa ng tortilla de carne n'yo (Okay tell me how your ground meat omelette tastes)

Karen: It must be juicy para mas masarap (It must be juicy to be delicious)

Karen: Di kailangan lutong-luto ang itlog (No need for the egg to be fully cooked)

END OF CONVERSATION

Result? Find out tomorrow (pa-suspense pa!) (to keep you in suspense!)

BTW, it's Karen's birthday today. Feliz cumpleaños, mi prima muy bonita!