Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dreams are Made of These

I have four recurrent dreams:

1) My father very much alive
2) Our home in Matulungin Street, Quezon City where we lived for the longest time
3) My son when he was still little
4) A man holding my hands

When I asked my psychiatrist the meaning of dreams, he said there are two kinds of dreams:
1) What is happening to your life right now
2) What you long for or want to happen

How true! Often enough, I dream of what is going on in my life right now. Like when I have a project to finish, I dream of that project. When I was teaching, I dream of my class and lessons I'm supposed to teach.

But too many of my dreams are of the second type.

...I dream of my father because I miss him after all these years. He passed away in October 31, 2001 but in my dreams, he is very much alive. My former psychiatrist told me once that I did not grieve properly for my father's death. Now, I may be overdoing it. Oh Daddy, I cannot wait till I see you again in heaven.

...That large home in Matulungin Street. So many happy memories! So many cherished moments shared with loved ones! The fun-filled parties. The smiles, the laughter, and the tears. To this day, I pass by that house and look longingly. If I win in the lotto, I shall buy back that house. (Problem is, I don't buy lotto tickets.)

...My son is now 20 years old and graduating from college. But when he was little, he was so cute and we were really close. Now, he has his many friends, school, church...other interests. I still get to see him of course but I miss the closeness. What is it with children that they grow up too fast?

...Recently, I went out with a friend and he held my hand. He kept feeling and touching it. He said I have such soft hands. I would have been thrilled because he is real cute...except that he's "estranged" from his wife but they still see each other. Besides, he's about 10 years younger. Ha ha. No way! Here I go again...seeking for that special someone who will hold my hand.

In a recent episode of Preacher in Blue Jeans [January 23, 2009], Bo Sanchez talked about the power of words. We can prophesy our future by the use of words, not just words per se but written words.

So here are my prophesies:

1) Someday, I will meet my father again in heaven!
2) Someday, I will buy back that house in Matulungin OR build one just like it.
3) Someday, I will be close with my son again.
4) Someday, a special man will come into my life and I will grow old with him and...of course, he will constantly hold my hands.

There, sweet dreams are made of these. But reality is so much sweeter.

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